wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!
I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.
I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand.
In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.
Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.
In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.
That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.
I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.
Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.
The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.
As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become “stealing from other poor people” and it’s not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.
hey guys you’re allowed to call me the stupidest motherfucker on the earth but i unironcially thought vampire meant the same thing as vespa. i straight up believed that shit for the five seconds i took to comprehend this ask. what the fuck
Apparently this tiktok was deleted hours after I saved it.
[Video ID: A Tiktok that several users have added onto, each making a different joke about gender.
Person 1: They say “No pronouns? Damn… another victim of gender identity theft.” They start cracking up on the last word.
Person 2: They start off smirking while they appear to think about what to say. Then, they look at the camera imitate a spam call voice, saying, “We have been trying to contact you about your gender’s extended warranty.”
Person 3: They come in through a doorway and yell, “It’s my gender identity, and I need it now!” The camera angle shifts to indicate they’re a different person, and they say, “Tired of not having a gender identity? J.G. Wentworth can help. Call J. G. Wentworth; 877-pro-nouns. They’re your pronouns, use them when you need em’!”
Person 4: They imitate the kind of voice you hear on legal ads and say, “Attention: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Gender, you may be entitled to financial compensation.”
Person 5: Starting off strong and dissolving into fits of laughter as they speak, they say, “-and now a word from our sponsor: Raid Shadow Genders; conquer all of the genders" End ID]
Due to a lull at work, I found myself with some free time.
So I decided to 3d model a furby because I couldn’t find a decent one online.
It came out ok in the end. But the process came with quite a bit of nightmare fuel.
I first did as much as I could without having to touch the hair sim. I had no idea how to do hair sim.
But I “luckily” found a quick hair sim button in blender. So that was looking quite nice. However I was a fool. I hadn’t yet touched any sliders on the hair particle system. And i still needed to add colour.
This should have been my first warning. I had to hide the face plate, so i could remove some of the hair bits that were clipping it. I wasn’t prepared.
Then I decided I wanted to have another bit of light hair on top. simply add a square under the hair and press the hair sim button.
simple.
right?
I don’t know exactly how I managed this, but somehow i had made the particle system use the data from the gravity sim to generate more hair.
I made the mistake of zooming out.
…
and zooming out more
My computer didn’t like that. The hair, It just kept going, but the more I zoomed out the more my computer slowed down. So this is as far as i was willing to push it.
After fixing that issue I put a bit more effort prettying the model up. First I added colour to the faceplate and its different parts, then I cooked up a quick and dirty procedural texture for the eyes.
finally I made a front hair sim for the white belly, this led to another problem. at some point the baked physics started getting…
weird.
no mater what I did the hair would just start growing a few frames in.
I tried everything I could! I scrapped the physics bake, I trawled through all the particle systems sliders. I changed numbers randomly. I even did a full uv unwrap, which I had been avoiding. nothing fixed it.
I really didn’t want to end up with something not a furby at the end of all this work. so i kept looking for a solution.
Then i found out it animated.
In the end I just saved the file (I’d realized I hadn’t saved once up until that point. almost had heart attack when it froze for a few seconds while saving), then closed and reopened blender. Of course the old, “turn it off then on again” worked perfectly.
So there you go, I now have a slightly cursed furby 3d model.
♪
